The ability of a person to love extends from joy and happiness. In order to reach it's full extent, love has to develop and grow between two people. For Kien, his teenage years with Phuong were just the beginning of love and the war stunted its growth. After being in the war for ten years, he expected to return and start where he and Phuong left off. However, the war had its terrible effects on him and he no longer had the ability to love because of the of the prolonged horrors and long-lasting traumatic memories he obtained. This happened not only with Phuong, but with Hanh and the girl who was one his friend's sister. They wanted to love him, but he couldn't reciprocate because he can't let go of the war, he can't let go of the horrors that would allow him to love again.
Although love may not be fully defeated by war for all, Kien definitely is an example of the terrible effects war has on love. Love is happiness, war is not. Love is kind, war is not. Everything love is, war isn't and being involved in such an opposite state for so long took a toll on Kien.
This link is to an article that clearly shows the emotional void that comes from war. Like All Quiet on the Western Front, both Paul and Kien must emotionally detach themselves from love, happiness, and the real world in order to do their duty as a soldier. This article explains the stress and effects war has on a soldier's emotions and ability to love after war.
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